Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Dun know why i felt so stress recently again. Almost everything...work with all the customer,pending case, stupid customer. Everything also must be fast fast...i am human not superman. Only can do a thing by a time hai...my temper is getting worse n worse. Stupid cust always insist on things then cant be done...or if not telling me by today must do it or by when when when. Pls...i hate cust always come into the branch last min to get their things done. Like by when when when i leaving overseas, need it urgently. If u need it urgently then should have prepare yourself ma...hai...even since enter into the job i really slim down a lot. Use to be a bit chubby chubby, now is different case lor...i think my stress level is quite low. I cant really take stress, my stress level is quite low. A bit of things can already stress me hai...somemore margart not ard recently, i am the only one. Dam busy with only me...miss chen is not everything...i cant handle so many cust at a time. Getting more n more tired nowadays. Not work means exam...all my leave n off is taken for my exam. Nowadays hardly even have my own time hai...after long n stressful day at work, came back home had to rush assignment, at times with some family issue. I seem so useless n weak....everyone faces all these problem...but y am i keep complaining?Getting irritated of myself at times too.

That day also...when i told dear i will be meeting up n do a group assignment with my classmates, he ask with who, and i ans 3guys n me in a group. The immediate reply was "Why u always like to hang out with guys n purposely know them,y cant u know more gals?". Initially was really quite angry n upset,my heart ache=( I dun know what n how to explain,so i just kept quiet as usual. There is no reason y i know them, it just happen that they seat beside me during class. N usually i am a loner that sit by myself. I didt purposely go n know them. But i mean during class, there bound to have qn asking each other de ar....i nv like go ask them hey can i know u? Of coz i nv...i already keep a distance by keeping quiet in class le...second incident, which happen today. Coz after group meeting, while going home realise one of my classmate stay at amk too. So thinking since so tired n hungry, just hope to reach home faster, so decide to share cab home so can reach home faster instead of taking train. My dear ask y i took cab n with a guy again. Ask me to be careful keep a distance, worry that history might happen again. I know...i cant blame him. Is all my fault....

Sometime i hope dear can trust me back....but i know is not possible at all anymore. Is all my fault in the first place. Even nowadays i go out with a group of friends, he will hope that i can reach home early. I know his concern. I actually felt so xin ku at times, i cant blame him coz i created all these in the first place, but yet i am unhappy abt those incident. I dun know how to explain the feeling. Is like i wan to blame him but i know i cant. N i will keep putting the blame on myself. Until may be all the things i did b4 i am totally in the wrong. I felt so sandwich.

Hai...suddently so moody....how???? A lot of things i do nowadays dear is always in my consideration. Now i finally understand once a trust is broken, hardly or nv will the trust be back anymore.

Posted by snowpoem at 12:17 AM