Monday, June 30, 2008
Finally i finish my mid term exam le...is not as hard as i though,but for sure i wont get a distinction(haiz....)may be just a pass ba...if fail i can faint liao...6 weeks later i will be having my major exam which contribute to 55% of over results,think by the time i going to take leave again. Hmm...just now when went back with li shan she told me that she felt very sian...coz need to go for lesson today...but for me i dun felt that way. I actually enjoy what i am learning, i find it interesting. Is like gaining knowledge, which i dun know and i like it. Although is hard to understand especially finance...but is a very interesting subject. U will know why the market performance in this way, why the bank will always earn $, is really very interesting. I guess i study the right course now. I actually look forward to class more or rather then going to work. I appreciate the time during lesson. I miss study life without working. But of coz is not possible now, i need the income for my daily expenses and most importantly school fees. However, when it comes to exam stress....haha....Yup yup...that mean i can go out again le...if not last few weeks after work kept heading home just to revise. Anyway this 2weeks dear cant book out also, only on the weekend. But even if he book out on the weekend, the time that we spent together is only for that few short hours hai....coz sometime he got his programme and i got mine too. So ya...sad...just like yesterday, after my exam went to look for dear...but end up both of us fall aslp haha...coz i am really tired after study for so many days. By the time we woke up dear have to rush and book in le...
Oh ya...today is our 4years 1 month anniversary(clap clap clap...) haha...i msg and wish dear happy anniversary and i was a bit surprise that he will wish me back, i mean he does but not as often as me haha...i appreciate. Ya he was not feeling very well again hai...anyway i am very glad, appreciate and proud that even tot after 4years we are still as loving haha...(oopes...ppl dun vomit). But i mean serious...to me when ppl tell me 4 years i will felt that is very long. For a relationship to actually last that long is already something wonderful,and for 4years...i am happy i am the one. Of coz me alone cant maintains the relationship....i have to thanks dear for staying beside me for all this while too. Although to be true haha...dear not extremely bad nor extremely good, average i mean....but i like can le haha....ya all my friends told me this sentence b4 really...."as long as u r happy and as long as u like, other things else does not matter". Oh no...i am getting emot again here le haha...hao ba that is it...work tml...nitez...
Posted by snowpoem at 11:46 PM
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Oh...no...is it becoz of exam coming soon...i felt very low mood...i miss dear right now at this moment. Whenever i am feeling down or feel bad, dear is always the first one that i though of. Even when something bad happen, no matter work,life or study, dear is the one that i can talk to. Of coz other then dear there is always my friends...willing to listen to my story. May be dear might not understand or dun know what is going on...but he will always encourage me to go on, support my decision. Although i always complain to him a lot a lot...he will ask me to relax and tell me things will be fine. When i stress up for my study right now he will encourage me. I told him i am scare i cant do it, but he chose to believe me even when i dun believe in myself. Sometime i felt i need dear so badly. Just some simple words from dear i felt so contented, and will actually motivate me to go on. Coz i knew even if i fail (in any aspects of life) dear will still stay beside me. Someone that i can count on, believe on. He will always be there and always be.Sometime i though i can live my life without dear...i can be very independent also. But at this moment i dun think so, dear always ask me to be more independent, but at times i just cant. Just need him...he wont let his emotion affect him,but i will. I miss he.....
Posted by snowpoem at 12:59 AM
Monday, June 23, 2008
Dear commisson ball
First time dear look so smart.
Sad most of the photo taken are blur....
Rachel so sexy i wanted to said.
Blur
So surpise actually had our name on the table.
I love the setting.
Our main dish
Hmm...there is actually lots more photo to post. But i am not allow coz dear said army photo cant be post, if not i will sure going to post all his commission parade photo. Anyway good experience that i am able to share all these wonderful moments with dear. Seeing him passing out as an officer, is like finally all the hard work had pay off. As usual i felt very proud of dear. Finally all the event had ended, dear will be posted to other unit. Hope he will be better off and no so much shit work to do.
Dun know why i sudden had this feeling right now. Last few meeting, there was always something he does tat i am unhappy about dear. Most of my friends said that i am over pampering him,did i? Sometime i felt...but that are times dear does pamper me. Seriously i dun ask too much for a relationship. Is all give and take...even though after 4years we been together, still love dear a lot. Although i agree there are moments and time i wanted to give up, end up is still dear that i like.May be is fated i dun know. We still have very long long way to go, i not sure if one day dear going to give up on me then what will happen to me.
Posted by snowpoem at 12:15 AM
Thursday, June 19, 2008
I am terribly upset due to a customer issue. For 10months i work, this is the first time i drop my tears. Here the story goes, this customer came to the branch to collect his bank statement, however when he check there was only 2, he needed 4 statement he claim. B4 that he already call the contact centre to request, but from my understanding which was our e-mail we only receive 2 statement instead of 4. Customer insisted that he need the other 2. When i told my manager she say: "no no account services only e-mail 2,we cant print out the rest, tell customer we only receive 2". But how am i going to tell customer this reason?Customer view the bank as a whole, who cares whether what are the department (i put myself in customer shoes). She wont help to solve the problem instead keep blaming others. For what the hell you keep blaming others? The right approach is how to settle customer issue, how to solve their problem first before you go blame whoever you want.So no choice i agree to help customer find the statement asap and fax it to him, coz he claim that he is rushing his flight in few hours time. No choice he left the branch, i e-mail whoever that is concern and i manage to get one statement. When i tot the problem has been solve, he needs another statement( as b4 that i didt know he got so many statement). As usual i manage to get the statement and fax it again, but the statement he need sld be last year and not this year. By the time customer already at the airport le...when i call him and he told me it was wrong. He was so totally peace off (and i understand, i dun blame the customer), scolding me and hang my phone. For the moment i really dun know how to solve the issue, he need it so urgently but yet i cant deliver the document to him. I really broke down in tears when there was no one that can help me. I am sandwich between the problem and the customer. No one willing to help me,i mean mr ng tired i really appreciate and in the end boss came in to help also. But is already too late, customer already flew off. I dun know what will happen if the customer came back from overseas, i believe he were going to lodge a complain against me. But seriously i dun mind, i just hope the customer can get his documents tml if he call the contact centre from overseas again.
I am upset because i already went to the extra mile to help customer find the documents, but yet the customer dun feel appreciated at all. He just blame me for everything. I mean in the first place i sld not had involve in such a situation. My job was to pass you the statement. End up when missing 2 statements it became my problem. I felt so wei qi really....i am just being very kind to assist customer( by the way just to let u ppl know, it actually takes abt a week for the statement. But it took me 2 hours only and the customer was so angry). I felt helpless, no one in the branch can help me. I mean who would want to take up shit responsibility right.
What is call customer service manager? What is call excellence customer service? I dun understand, all of them told me that i am too kind to help the customer, but what is call service line? Provide excellence customer service, go the extra mile? Is all crap....i cry i really cry. Am i really too kind? Am i in the right job right position? I cant provide what my customer want. Even though my senior, the officers told me that i am not to blame but i still felt very bad about it. Is my responsible i felt, but i really learn my lesson well. Really not to be too helpful...i still felt very upset.
By the way coz of this issue,i only manage to eat my lunch at 5plus. Can u imagine...by the time finish eating i can go home le...I am so upset. I know some of my colleague were trying to help me, but yet they cant do anything. Thanks for their concern, benson kor kor (haha...wanted to give me a treat to Cheer me up), christine ( for buying a chocolate and secretly put in my bag with a sweet note asking me to jia you), mr ng trying to give me solution, boss helping me to check, salwana, dylan and angline asking me what happen. Only person that seem dun care ya u know who...my manager. I hate it when she keeping pushing the blames to others, i wonder she realise that a not.
This whole week i really met a lot of nasty and difficult to handle customer. This week is really a shit shit week for me. Tml last day and i will go for 4 days leave. I need a break...i am hungry now haven taken my dinner.
Posted by snowpoem at 12:22 AM
Monday, June 16, 2008
I am super ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY today. There is quite a few incidents that actually got me so work up. Partly coz of having my period, my mood was not very good le...was a bit moody this few days. Plus somemore things trigger off my anger during work...is a monday...some of my colleague were late or happen to be MC. So the back room was actually short of ppl...even the counter. My manager was angry...i understand. But u sld not had vent yr anger on us, u know what is call anger management? As a manager u dun even know how to manage yr anger well during yr work. When i tired to ask some question u keep pushing me around. And said dun everything come and ask her, she also dun know. Hello....what u mean????If i know i wont be asking u le rite...still can tell me u dun know????Or at least help to solve the question. I just cant stand it....not only me i think the rest of the officer also cant stand it. I mean if i am the manager i wont need u le rite....This is not the first time...only know how to talk...when it comes to work...oh...i dun know. What de....Pls la...So fine if can i will not ask her anymore. Coz she is useless anyway. What for get myself scolded.Second incident, i shall not mention name here. A sentence being said "xueshi...why are you doing inside (the back room)? You sld be staying outside". Although it seems like a simple sentence but i am being offended. Can u dun ask me such a stupid question. Of coz i am helping customers check their stuff, cant u see i am busy. Is not like i am drinking milo or eating biscuit, not like ya....i am busying attending customers. I just felt irritated...are you questioning me that i am slacking. You sld be the one that is slacking, and everybody knows that.When everyone is busy with the shares what r u doing. Nth hiding in the room and say is not yr business. What kind of attitude is it? Just becoz it does not concern you at all, you just sit and do nth about it. Always say is not within your job scope...then u think everything we do is within our job scope? Everybody are doing things that are far far away from their job scope. And now u are telling me all this crap reason. Getting the right or wrong form is also my business? When things goes wrong and is yr customer u ask me to call. Everything xueshi xueshi xueshi....yr xueshi is not everything....i had enough today. Really enough....peace off....
But of coz there are a lot of kind soul around. Especially thanks to benson (more like a friend then colleague), chris, angelia....i realise they work very hard too. Thanks chris for always helping me out with difficult customers. Thanks angelia for always pressing the queen number. Thanks benson for being my lunch partner haha...Thanks christine for lending me a listening ear. Thanks Li Li ,irene and joanne for helping out and solving my customer issue. I think i felt better when i know that are still so many kind soul around me. Sometime that are just some black sheet that cause you to be unhappy.
Hopefully tml will be a better day. I still like to service my customers. When i know they felt appreciated when their things got done. I manage to solve their problem....i felt i done a great job.
I just felt very peace off today....that i need to blog it out to vent my anger. At least i dun vent it during my work.
Posted by snowpoem at 11:17 PM
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Actually i am quite moody this few day. Anyway went for dear commission parade, finally. U know what coz we went in a bit late the seats are all being 'chop'. And i so stupid la...coz dear is sword of merit,got sort of VIP seats for us. But we didt know, end up seated at a far far away place,sad....not a good view. Should had seated at the VIP hai....is actually quite touching to see them after 9month of tough training. Got their sword, let me tell u the sword is really cool. Is like you earn the sword back by your tears and blood.Not only manage to see dear commission but also some of my friends. Proud of them...realise most of my friends are not bad de haha...all got leadership in them.I cant post the photo...coz dear say army stuff are not allow to post...so ppl too bad le...but their uniform is really smart. Everyone looks great in it. I going to delevop out all this photo and make into something. But guess it will be only after my exam. Friday will be the commission ball...something i look forward too.
Posted by snowpoem at 9:28 PM
今天期中考，学校早一点放学，我打了通电话给他。 ：喂，我今天比较早放学，你来载我回家好不好？
：好，等我五分钟。
：五分钟？我学校就在你家旁边耶。
：我总要打扮一下啊。
：好啦，快一点喔。
下午2：00，太阳大的让我有种冲动想喷鼻血，我站在树荫下挥动着手，虽然没凉到哪里去，但是煽总比不煽好. 五分钟过了，他还没来，我看看手表，有点不高兴，十分钟过了，他还没到..，该不会出了什么事吧？呸呸呸...乌鸦嘴，十五分钟过了，他总算到了。
：怎么这么慢？
: 他一副无所谓的样子说：没啊，看个电视。
什么？看个电视？你要不要顺便睡个觉洗个澡吃个饭再来？我没有说话，没有拿安全帽，没有上车的瞪着他。
：对不起。
这是他第一次对我说对不起，他是一个很大男人主义，爱面子的男生，所以他从不像女生低头说对不起，我看着他，好吧，似乎面有惭色，我带上安全帽，让他载我回家。
他总是这样，从来不解释，不争论，不跟我吵架，只跟我说对不起，有些事，不是一句对不起就能解决的，但是他都跟我道歉了，我也就没再追究下去，他说，我是第一个让他说对不起的女生。
认错需要很大的勇气，但是他从来都没有改进他的错误，对不起反而变成一种打发我的话。
在他说第59次对不起时，我流着泪，低下头说：你不要再跟我说对不起了，如果你无法改变，就不要让我给你一次又一次的机会，相信你会改变。他轻轻的拥着我，说了第60句对不起。
虽然如此，他还是没有改变，不做任何的解释，我开始怀疑他是不是有事瞒着我。
：你最近怎么了？
：没有啊。
：那你为什么心情不好？
：没有啊。
：又是没有啊，你除了这句话以外没有别的吗？你知不知道我很担心，很没有安全感，你到底有没有当我是你女朋友？
：...对不起。
：我不要听你说对不起。
我挂了电话，他也没有打来，他根本就不在乎我，也许，我们该结束ㄌ..........这是他说的第99句对不起....从那天开始，我再也没有找过他，他也没有打电话给我，有时候，我会接到一通无声的电话，但是我喂了几声，就挂了，有一种直觉是他，但是他为什么都不说话？一个月之后，我按奈不住思念的心情决定到他学校找他，我在教室外东张西望的，就是没有看到他的人影，我随便抓了一个男生来问。
：同学，请问一下，梦伟今天有来吗？
：他休学了。
：啊？为什么？什么时候的事？
：他已经一个月没来了。
：...喔..谢谢。
一个月..一个月没来，怎么会呢?我跌跌撞撞的回到家..拨他的手机：您的电话已经为您转到语音信箱，请在嘟一声...。我挂了电话，打到他家，响了好久都没有人接，怎么会？全家移民吗？他仿佛是从这世界上消失了一样，没有一点痕迹。他该不会另结新欢了吧？我开始胡思乱想，我找不到他..，正当我烦恼的时候，电话突然响了，是阿立打来的，他是梦伟的死党也是我的好友。
：喂，你还在干嘛啊？
：什么？
：ㄚ伟在医院啦。
：真的？他怎么了？
：没有啦，他在○○医院，就是你上次住的那一家。
：我马上去。
我立刻用我出生以来最大的速度飙到那家医院，在医院看到了他****和妈妈，我向他们问了他在哪一间病房之后，就急忙的飞奔而去。
他躺在床上，眼睛看着我，没有说话，没有起床，一动也不动的。
：喂，你怎么了？为什么不通知我呢？
他没有回答我，只是一直用同样的眼神看着我。
：回答我啊，你为什么不说话？ 他眼角留下了一滴泪，身体仿佛用了最大的力气，牵动着嘴角
：...对不起...。说完，他闭上了眼睛。
：喂，你别装了好不好，为什么要说对不起，我不要你说对不起啊，你起来啊，回答我啊。
我哭倒在他床边，拉着他的衣服哭喊着：你为什么要说对不起，连说服我的理由都没有？我不会原谅你，你起来啊，你说对不起没有用啊，你不起来我这辈子都不会原谅你，我求求你....睁开眼睛啊...。这是他说的一百句对不起...一群医生和护士拉开我，开始抢救他，我全身没有力气再站起来，我的头脑一片空白，眼前一片漆黑..。他没有离开这个世界，只是我永远都无法触摸到他，但他有时也会在我的梦中出现，告诉我他过的好不好
。
他还是陪着我，还是活着，在我心里，他依然如昔，还是会笑着叫我咏熙，叫我老婆，只是..他不再对我说对不起了...。
过了几个月，他妈妈来找我，给了我一个盒子，里面装的，是一百张照片，每一张照片的背面，都写着它让我生气的事情。第一次对不起，老婆，我今天不是故意迟到的，我也知道理由很烂，但是我真的不忍心说实话，我在出门前突然心脏绞痛，但是我已经尽量赶了，原谅我好吗？第二次对不起?老婆，我..........第三次对不起，老婆，我
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第一百次对不起，老婆，我不是狠心要丢下你，只是上帝似乎不给我这个机会让我爱你一辈子，为你带上戒指，你是我第一个让我说对不起的女孩，也是我第一个想共度一生的女孩，原谅我不能给你幸福，我会化作天使，守护着你，看着你得到幸福，答应我，别哭，我不要看到你为了我憔悴流泪的样子，我爱你。bye 梦伟
我怎么可能不哭，你的要求太严苛了，最后一张照片，是他在医院理拍的，照片上他笑的很灿烂，他变的好瘦，脸色好苍白，但是他还是露出了笑容，拍这第 一百张照片。
在他最虚弱罪痛苦的时候，我没有陪着他。 对不起。我抱着他的照片，泪流不止！！ 愿天下所的情人.愿你们能珍惜眼前的人,不要失去后才懂得珍惜...不要让悲剧再次上演!
Posted by snowpoem at 9:08 PM
Monday, June 09, 2008
Went to meet dear yesterday, thanks that he was not angry with me anymore. But i know dear dont like, so in the future i wont make the same mistake at least. He got 100% rights to get angry over it. Dear will find another day to take the flyer with me, i shall wait again. Hopefully nothing goes wrong again, cross my finger.Anyway finally dear got his sword le...COOL...the sword is actually quite heavy, but yet is nice. I mean i can feel that after 9months of hardwork,finally is the sword. Felt so proud of dear...even though i am not the one getting it. But at least i do walk side by side beside dear during this period (haha...sound until like i very great...but no la...). Of coz i cant be compare to what dear went through, but at least...erm...ya still around haha...(dun know how to describe my feeling in words).
I am super looking forward to his ceremony this coming saturday....i will take tons and tons of photo, only once in a life time lei...must take till i drop death or camera run out of battery. So Dear on that day u got no reason not to let me take any photo. No choice i must take....dun care...
I am so excited excited excited....cant wait till saturday. How i hope tml is saturday. Ppl may be u will wondering y and how come this stupid gal can get so excited over such matter. But is just like seeing 9months pregnancy, the child is being born(erm...what a describe...dun sound rite haha...). I can imagine the ceremony will be very grand. I can say very loud that. I CHEN XUESHI IS SUPER PROUD OF MY DEAR.
Posted by snowpoem at 11:27 PM
Sunday, June 08, 2008
There goes my anniversary celebrate and singapore flyer. For many days i have been waiting for the day to arrive, so i can get to sit with dear. I promise myself my first ride must be with dear. But ya..things screw up by me in one way or another. The day had arrive but somethings happen that i had to be blame. We had walk until the entrance but decided to leave, no point coz the feeling is just not rite...couple sld go up to the flyer with the correct mood,but not today for both of us. Hate myself for spoiling the day. Didt went anywhere and head home directly. Until now at this moment when i am blogging i still felt the heart pain. I mean this is the day i am looking forward and it ended up in such a way. I just hate it...hate myself for doing the wrong thing. I just want to be honest and not hiding anything from dear. What had i done....Posted by snowpoem at 1:19 AM
Friday, June 06, 2008
I think i hurt someone again...but i mean i dun mean it. Actually felt a bit bad and i really dun know what is the situation like now. Are we still friends or what? I want to face it...but he always assume his own thinking. Partly i have to play a part to ba...3 weeks i have been working non stop...next week will be one month somemore...i need a break...mid term exam coming soon also buy yet i am still so slack...but really a bit lazy to study in fact not i dun want. Coz serious i dun really understand what had been taugh till today,i guess is the same as my other classmate hai....
Posted by snowpoem at 12:10 AM
Monday, June 02, 2008
I am super tired today ppl....really is like a war in my branch. From branch open till branch close, busy non-stop. Just less than a few hours, 3.24million dollars shares being sold. Is that hot...Is very difficult for outsider to understand...but ya one word to sum up...extremely busy. Is just like ppl buying 4D...like free,no kidding. Tml i still have to go early to batch my documents down. Coz i left early to sch just now. Ya...somemore such a busy day i have sch. As usually i fall aslp in class and dun really get what the lecture means.I really so tired....Hope tml will be a better day but i dun think so...will be worse i guess. This week will be a tough week...i need rest. Must ask boss to let me off for a long period after this whole thing settle down.
11pm le...i haven even taken my dinner...sometime i wonder y am i making myself so busying...but yet i still enjoy my work.
Posted by snowpoem at 10:53 PM
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Jia Hui 21th Birthday
Dear friends i am soory too lazy and tired to write anything le...i will let the pictures to speak the story.
