Sunday, September 28, 2008

I hate myself...what had i done again...i am making myself upset again shit...i hate it...i mess it up again...chen xueshi chen xueshi CHEER UP CHEER UP...

What is happening to me...even after going out and when i am back alone...i still felt upset. What is the point of being kind? Be kind n understanding for what? Be a gd person so what? Y am i thinking so much? Just not coming down to look for me...y i had to feel so upset. OMG...wake up wake up!!!!

I just hate myself y i have to love him so much. This is how he treat me....i feel like resting for a while, a while...y am i asking and demanding again...i dun really blame him, but just disappointed (And shit radio 933 is playing all the sad song while i blogging making it worse). Can pay more attention to me? Can care for me more? Can have some action? I dun feel love now...y as a bf u can even be lazy to send me home but not my friends? Isiz it... the most basic duty as a bf ba...?Y my friends seem able to do more(ok...i know is a very unfair statement). Hai...very sad rite...just becoz is bf, bf have to do more. Becoz if friends, totally wont have such problem le...i guess that is the diff between bf and friends ba...

In his shoes, weekend is for him to take a rest. Dun feel like going anywhere, just feel like staying at home. Blame me pls....i try to understand, but since i can get angry over this matter mean even tot i understand but i cant accept it totally. I am bluffing myself actually. Is time i need to do some reflection...i need time....may be after a nitez i will be better (which usually are).

I need to learn putting myself first in front b4 him, which i am still trying. Is I I I I that matters n more impt...not him. Xueshi love yourself more....whatever u feel like doing just go ahead, follow yr heart. Yr heart will bring u....dun think what is rite or wrong....there is no such things as rite or wrong anymore. Even ppl might think is wrong but who cares, is my own life. I do whatever i feel rite...enough for comprising...enough for being a kind, understanding, reasonable gf...i dun c the point anymore. WHAT FOR? What is the point of being a kind gf.

Ppl i am very emot here tonight....whatever i say tonight, i didt go through any deep thnking. It might sound not me...but just let me vent out my anger...disappointment.

Posted by snowpoem at 11:47 PM

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Posted by snowpoem at 12:15 AM

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Law Law Law.....Company Law, Contract Law, Financial Law...OMG... so many law....who can help me!!!!!

Anyway going to use one of my off day this week on friday to stay at home guai guai do my revision haha...hopefully....

Posted by snowpoem at 1:16 AM

Monday, September 22, 2008

After always reading someone blog, i always felt fortunate. I am a lucky gal...that met a wonderful guy (although he might not be gd in every aspect, but is enough for me). He love me, he treat me well...just that sometime the things he said does make me upset. However, for 4 years plus...i had a very smooth journey...hardly any ups and down. If it does have...it all started from me. I am really glad that i met dear...we hardly quarrel, but i admit nowadays i am making more demand. We respect each other, trust each other...believe one another.

I believe in order to love someone, first of all u have to love yourself. Love yourself, pamper yourself. He/She is not your everything...dun put all your attention to he/she. Will feel very stress and no space to breath...eventually the relationship will just ended. No matter how u love the someone, u still have to control yourself. How i wish i can tell he/she this...but erm...haha...not in a very right position after all. Y she have to let herself suffer? Y must it be him? Too stubborn...but i guess is easy for me to say over here, but hard to perform.

That is y, i am a fortunate and lucky gal...lalalala....thanks dear.......

Posted by snowpoem at 11:45 PM

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Posted by snowpoem at 11:45 PM

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Why are gals always so emotional?

Anyway i like the way christina always call me 'shi shi',it sound kind of sweet to me haha...make my day happy.

Today went out with li shan they all...she was not in a very good mood. End up all of us buy shoes back, 2 pair each(me, jia hui,li shan) and 1 pair for mei. Haha..most guys will nv understand y we like to buy so many things, like shoes, clothing, bags and stuff like that. Is kind of enjoying just now when shopping with my gf, release my stress at work. May be i am a person with very low stress level(can't accept too much stress), so when there r things that i cant complete or customer issue not solve on the spot, i will start to feel stress liao...that is me.

Anyway this few days i felt that my relationship 'graph' is sloping down again. Should do sth about it. I got so many things i feel like saying but i dun know where to start, and how to go about saying it.

Posted by snowpoem at 12:38 AM

Monday, September 15, 2008

I am FRUSTRATED and really in a low and bad mood today. Guess it will last it for quite a few days. If i dun smile or as chatty please be more understanding...i am just in a super bad mood.

Irate, incensed, enraged, infuriated, furious, mad; provoked, irritated, frustrated.

I need to find a way to release my frustration!!!!!

Posted by snowpoem at 11:26 PM

Firstly those words in blue were what i thought/believed was quite true.

CAPRICORN the Sea Goat (ME)

Capricorn and Independence:
Capricorns are very independent because they know their capabilities and therefore they rarely trust others to finish details, they like to do it all themselves. Capricorn is the longer of all zodiac signs.

Capricorn and Friendship:
The Capricorn is the strong friend, they will always be there to help, they are very sympathetic, caring and helpful to a friend in need. A Capricorn will get someone back on their feet again with a steady plan for success and for all this, they expect nothing in return. The Capricorn friend is deep and mysterious and full of intrigue, there always seems to be something going on in their mind.

Capricorn and Business:
The Capricorn personality is geared towards that of leadership and achievement, they always want to climb the corporate ladder and be the best they can be. Capricorns have excellent sense of time and manage it very well, they are excellent organizers. Capricorns are very creative, not spontaneously creative but it is incorporated into their time management skills and their ideas for executing a plan. Capricorns make good, wise investments because they look at the long term and what will be the most beneficial down the road.

Capricorn and Temperament:
Capricorns might seem melancholy and stern because they live by self-discipline and responsibility. They evaluate everything and they don't take daring chances without weighing the advantages and disadvantages first. To the onlooker, they might seem boring but it is the serious drive and structured way of life that the Capricorn feels safe with. Capricorn's self-sufficiency is often mistook for coldness, they are not as cold as they seem, this might be apparent just because Capricorns like to do everything themselves this way there is no worry about something not finished or not done properly. It is all about control of their surroundings and their daily lives and sometimes this spills into other people's lives. They believe they can give structure and organize other people's lives too, which they can but others might see this as intrusive and not welcome the Capricorn's suggested changes. According to Capricorn, there is only a right way and a wrong way to do things and this idea makes some Capricorns closed minded, stubborn and reluctant to agree with others. This is an ongoing lesson for Capricorns, knowing that there is more then one way of doing things and even though their way is usually right, it does not mean that they have to impose their ways on others.

Capricorn Deep Inside:
Capricorns have this sense of melancholy and necessity for structure and work because inside they feel they are unworthy and need to continuously prove their worth. Once they realize that all they need is self-love, door will open and they will see the world in a new light, one that allows for pleasure and guilt-free fun. Capricorns most important need is security, financial and material security. This is the driving force behind their ambitious character and all other personality traits of desire to succeed. They are very concerned with their public standing and their prestige. Capricorns are loners but they also need to feel appreciated, but they are excellent at hiding this truth. Capricorns are very self contained and they have many faces they present to the world, they are known as aloof and indifferent but this is them concealing themselves from the world, unfortunately, they may never know who they really are. This causes feelings of insecurity and causes them to question their own self worth. Capricorns make it difficult to get close emotionally because once they let someone in, they do not want to let them go and emotional connection makes them feel vulnerable yet satisfied at he same time. This is an ongoing internal conflict of contradictions inside the Capricorn's mind.

Capricorn in a Nutshell:
Capricorns are very ambitious people, they always have something they are pursuing and they want their lives to be fulfilled and important. Capricorns are extremely patient and will wait a long time for something they want, when the opportunity arises, they will plan their steps carefully to others, they might appear hesitant but this is not true, they know that there is only one chance to succeed and they are filing together their information to take the proper steps to accomplish their goal with flying colors, not just second rate. Capricorns have a very active mind and strong powers of concentration. Capricorns like being in control of their surroundings and everyone in their life. Capricorns are very cautious but this only to survey the situation before leaping in, they will never make a hasty jump in. They accept change but introduce it slowly so they can get used to it and incorporate it into their life. Capricorns tend to see life in black or white, definitive's only. There are no gray areas for these are areas that are not understood and this makes Capricorn feel uncomfortable. They tend to be in control in a romantic relationship that way they are never vulnerable to another person.

What it's Like to Date a Capricorn Woman:
Deep inside, she is romantic and loving but it takes the right man to expose this. On the outside, she may seem like she does not care much for love. The Capricorn woman is perfect for the man who likes a challenge. It will take time to get closer to her, never make her rush into a relationship. Be patient because she is. Capricorn woman is very classy, upscale woman. You have to woo her and court her like a lady. Shower her with nice gifts (but not too expensive, she is a very conservative spender and expects you to be also). She will dominate and control the relationship but in her intriguing subtle way, let her take the lead, she won't steer you wrong! She will lead the relationship in the right direction because she is smart and practical. She will offer you a long lasting, real, loyal relationship with all the right ingredients for happiness.

What it's Like to Date a Capricorn Man:
The Capricorn man is very physical and passionate, but not emotional (on the outside). Deep inside he yearns for love but this takes a long time to become reality, he is very reluctant to place trust in another person. Show him how much you admire him and earn trust gradually over time. He is very faithful, probably the most faithful of all zodiac signs. Underneath his secretive mysterious nature is a romantic streak with a strong sensual side, this side is completely hidden and once unlocked, you'll be amazed at the transformation this man has undergone! Patience and trust is key with a Capricorn man, he has so much to offer the right woman who will wait for him.

Sex With Capricorn:
Capricorns have stamina, lots of it. They like nice, classy surroundings and a comfortable atmosphere. In the bedroom, they will last all night and want some more. They are very physical and good at what they can do. Do not expect any creative or zany positions, but expect it to be good.

Capricorn most Compatible with: Capricorn, Taurus, Cancer, Virgo

Worst Match for Capricorn: Sagittarius

LEO the Lion(DEAR)

Leo and Independence:
Leo is very independent but they need something to control and someone to admire them and appreciate them. They are fully capable of being greatly successful on their own but they are much happier if they have an audience and a following of people who look up to them. They would prefer not be alone.

Leo and Friendship:
People are attracted to Leo's zest for life and their warm spirit. They have the ability to lift up one's spirits and provide encouragement when times are rough. Their enthusiasm attracts people, Leos are social butterflies, not because they want to be but because people always naturally gravitate and surround the Leo. Leos are very difficult people to not like, they are usually fairly balanced, realistic people. They never dwell on the past and they will think you are strange if you do. Some Leos might be too caught up in themselves and be very self-centered but they are never too self-absorbed to help anyone who needs it. They pamper their friends and treat them well. A Leo is the ultimate friend. They do not hold a grudge and they are very forgiving. They have respect and understanding of people's differences.

Leo and Business:
Business dealings are easy and successful for Leo, if they are in command and control. This can cause conflict in the workplace should the Leo not be in a position of superiority, but they usually get there eventually thanks to their powerful drive to succeed, in other words, they are excellent leaders because this is their kingdom they have to control, and they do it well. Leo has an amazing ability to get along with people and they work best in a group as opposed to alone. They can be very diplomatic in a group setting and can delegate people well, however Leo will not take orders. They need to give orders but with their enthusiasm and cheerfulness, other people do not have a problem taking orders from a Leo because they are never condescending and they treat others with respect and equality. Leos are full of drama, flair and extravagance and this reflects in the business world. They make an impact, they make a difference in the workplace and help to keep the parts moving in sync and iron out any problems before they arise. If the business fails, that means that Leo fails and they are extremely determined not to fail. Leo is the most extravagant sender of all astrology signs. They will not over do it but they will surround themselves with luxury as much as possible. They will never settle for second best.

Leo Temperament:
Leo loves the new and extraordinary, they despise dull, regular routines and if this is what they are faced with, they will simply create their own drama and excitement. This makes Leo prone to stir up a situation out of nowhere just for something to keep their vivacious temperament satisfied. Leo has an amazing ability to bounce back from any feelings of despair or unfortunate events. They do not like to be unhappy, it hurts their pride so they will take matters into their own hands and make things right again. Leos could come into conflict with other powerhouse type of people who will not take orders and not give an inch, Leos will not budge their opinion, they will understand and accept opinions of others but they do not take well to people to try to impose their beliefs on them. Leo most often have the temperament of a demanding, spoiled child but this is only shown if someone steps on the boundaries of their kingdom. They react this way because of their territoriality.

Leo Deep Inside:
Leos are extremely sensitive but they hide that very well. Leos love praise and flattery, their egos demand respect and adoration. Leo is all about pride. This can cause them to be self-centered but the warmth of the Leo heart keeps it under control. If Leo's audience (otherwise known as their friends) do not provide the needed appreciation, Leo is too proud to ask for it and they will suffer a hurt ego, but no one will ever know and they will suffer in silence. The secret of the Leo is that they need to be needed.

Leo in a Nutshell:
Leo is the lion, this well suited symbol represents Leo very well. They possess a kingdom which they protest and cherish. The are high esteemed, honorable and very devoted to themselves in particular! The kingdom could be anything from work to home to a partner, whatever it is, you rule it. Leo is always center stage and full of flair, they enjoy basking in the spotlight. A Leo always makes their presence known. Leo are full of energy that acts like a magnet for other people. Others are attracted to Leo's wit, charm, and what they have to say for they speak of things grand and very interesting. Leo will never settle for second best. They want only the best which can cause lavish excessive spending habits as they enjoy their life of luxury, which is all to easily justified by the grand and magnificent Leo! Public image is very important to Leo, with luxurious possessions and ways of life, this keeps the public image in high standing. They will do whatever it takes to protect their own reputation. Leos are very generous, kind and openhearted people. If a Leo is crossed, they will strike back with force but they are not one to hold a grudge, they easily forgive, forget and move on. Leos are always trying to make things right in the world, they have larger then life emotions and they need to feel like they have accomplished something at the end of the day. They react to situations with action instead of sitting back and thinking about it, they are not impulsive however because they look at the future and consider consequences of their actions.

What it's like to date a Leo Woman:
The first step is to give her praise and adoration. The relationship will never work if she does not receive this from you. Do not look at other women when you are with her, she has to be the only one in your eyes. The thought of competition with other women completely turns her off, for she is marvelous and grand and better then any other woman (in her eyes)! Be prepared however to compete with other men. She attracts men, deliberately or not, because of her dazzling personality. She makes a good partner because she gives undying affection and love and makes you feel really mood about yourself. She is kind and supportive with an adventurous streak, she is always fun to be with. Leo woman will dominate,. But not completely for she still needs the man to lead the way and give her the desired sense of approval, she looks up to her man. Leo woman is perfect for the man who is affectionate and has a strong character but not too controlling. She needs someone who is passionate about everything in their life and who strives for the best in everything, because so does she.

What it's like to date a Leo Man:
The Leo man falls in love easily and it usually does not last. This is because his emotional ideals of a grand and magnificent love affair quickly turn into reality. Leo man needs a woman who is grounded and in-tune with the realities of life so she can help him keep his feet on the ground. He may seem like he is casual and detached about love but this is not the case, he needs adoration and approval and if he receives this, he feels quite passionately inside and will treat her with amazing affection and be a wonderful cheerful companion. The Leo man appears to be a rock solid unemotional king but truthfully, he is very sensitive. He wants a woman who caters to him, not in a demanding way but he thinks he is entitled to this because of how great he is. Leo men are prone to be self-centered but underneath they are gentle and have lots of love to give providing the woman can give him what he wants. Leos get along with just about anyone and just about any type of girl is suited to him. The woman who caters to him and overlooks his faults (he thinks he does not have any) and the woman who does not nag at him will obviously have preference and a chance at a long term relationship. If the relationship lasts, eventually she will have to teach him that he is not the only great thing in the world.

Sex With Leo:
First impressions would tell you that Leo is all about the kinky and novelty, but that is not so. They are deeply sensual and passionate and enjoy posh surroundings, such as candles and scented oils and lots of affectionate physical contact such as massages and rubbing. They like sex to be familiar, not necessarily routine, but they like to know what's going on. This is because Leo always has to be the best and if there is a suggestion or something offered that they have never done before, they would rather pass on the chance then attempt it and be only satisfactory. Leo has mastered the moves he know, so do not be disappointed with the lack of novelty and variety, because Leo is very good at what they can do, they are the best.

Leo most Compatible with:Aries, Sagittarius, Gemini, Libra

Worst Match for Leo: Scorpio

Posted by snowpoem at 12:45 AM

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

See this cute little gift. Is actually given by thoughtful Eugene. Oh..ya he given one to christina too. He met me,christina and may out today...both of us went to eat first b4 christina and may join us(coz they always have to do their balancing first). Anyway eugene kept telling me got sth to give me but stupid him just dun want to say at all haha...kept giving hinds but i just cant get it. At first said what is a agreement between me and him, then what 60plus number, and is my achievement. Totally cant figure out what is the reason y he want to pass me the thing. Until christina say...is it your result...then i oh ya...then i finally know the answer haha...blur and stupid me lor...
It happen while we will chatting in msn that time, he promise to get me a gift if i manage to pass my exam. As i say ' OK lor...' that time, but i was kidding at that point in time. I totally forgot i actually did say that until when he told me just now haha...ya u know usually ppl chat in msn, will just chat and forget about it, but i was a bit surprise that mr PRC rem it haha...So that is the reason he bought me and christina this cute cute thing. He was quite thoughtful at least i felt. By the way they gave this cute thing a name call 'Chen Shi Yi'...chen is the surname(coz my surname is chen), shi yi in chinese means lost of memory. Coz they always say me very forgettful(omg). Anyway when i see this 'chen shi yi' i will remind the meaning behind it. To study hard and even harder, is an encouragement gift from a great friend. Although is something small...but i appreciate it...at least the effort to rem(is more then enough) and went to buy it. Thanks Mr Eugene!!!

Posted by snowpoem at 11:29 PM

snOwPoEm

Xueshi :D.
Female :D.
22 Dec 86 :D.
Chocolate
Swimming
Sleeping
TV
Chatting


snOwmotto

Be happy in wat ever u do in your life.
Live your life with no regrets.
Treasure all the people around you.
Be kind to yourself.


cHat




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