Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Piss Piss off with my mum. Y i have just a mum in this family. She is just being so unreasonable. Because of her, i have not been slpy well this few days. Is affecting my work and my life. Coz of her i been so shag at work...i spain my neck, not enough slp, having headache all becoz of her. The whole family had enough of her. What can i do? She is my mum? But deep inside my heart i only acknowledge my dad. I only have my dad. My dad work so hard since young for us. What she do? Nothing? Only thing she knows, create trouble, find tons n tons of things to quarrel, make no peace in this family. No no no no contribution to the family at all,none none none!!!! For the past 10 over years she been like that, ever since i am young. She just wont change. What the hell is she thinking i really dun understand.

Ppl might just say after all she is still yr mum, i say NO! I totally have no respect for her. I try to think other way, be optimistic, but i just cant, totally cant. I always tell myself to forgive her forgive her...but she is getting from bad to worse. Is really pissing me off when it started to affect me so bad nowadays, i really need my rest. Have to work and study so hard at the same time, i just need my rest. Have peace n quiet in this family. Is this so hard? How can i get out of this family? I am tried, very. Until to the point, i even have bad headache when i came home just now.

This always lead me to think, y marriage? And this is the shit thing i see in my whole life since young even until now. Where is happiness? Where is love? None...is all bullshit!!! N even better affecting their children. Seriously, i still dun believe in marriage. Marriage to me at this point in time is just a piece of legal paper. A paper to just tell everyone u r husband n wife. There is no love in the paper. If u truly love each other, i dun c a point to even get marry. It does not make a different with or without the paper. Dear i know u will be disappointed to see this. Coz i rem i once told u i dun believe in marriage, i dun wan to get marry in the future. Then u reply me, 'then y r we tog now, if we wont get marry in the future'. You told me is up to me believe or not, no one can help. I wanted to believe, but....i dun wan to c myself landed in a failure marriage. I dun wan dun wan dun wan. I fear, i scare. I need time.....i am tired of her...really tired.....

Can anyone make me believe?

Posted by snowpoem at 8:50 PM