Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Haha...kind of miss dear at this late moment time is almost 1am. I still rem christina once told me y she dun want to get a degree. Reason being because her dream was become housewife in the future,which i mean is very normal for any gals to have this kind of thinking. It does happen to me at times. It will be a waste if she got the degree and not having to work in future. I totally understand her feeling.

Sometimes i just feel like rely on dear totally, totally and totally. Especially when i am in a very very low mood, nth seem to motivate me, unhappy, upset, tired in everything. These were the time that i need him badly,just rely on him totally. I am just like a normal gal at times that need someone to pamper, dote on, care for and be "xiao ni ren" in front of him. Sometime i just got the feeling that is he just everything in my life, yup everything. Just wonder i cant live without him. What will happen if he is not beside me. That is really how i felt when he got no time for me. I do felt lonely at time when he is busy in camp. Real lonely, and this is when all my friends play a very impt part in my life. Thanks to all my friends, u all will always be there when i needs u.

Sometime when i start to have this kind of thinking, i know is bad i cant rely on him just too much. I always tell myself i do got my own life, dear is not my everything in life. I still got my studies, work, family, friends. Only by telling all this to myself, then i can stop relying on dear so much. But sometime i think i very useless haha...if happen a friend ask me out and dear, end up i will still chose dear (80%). Which i always tell myself cant cant, but my heart just cant listen to my brain. Sorry friends i know it does happen quite offen. Dear seem like always come first, but i will try to balance it out. But i still have to thank dear for letting me rely for more than 4years le...share my joy, excitements, sadness, complain. He will listen and give some little encouragement, although not like hong seng or PRC, but is more then enough for me le... Sometime i dun need anything, just need his words of encouragement and that will be enough. I am a easy contented person. Ya...when nitez falls, when everyone start to fall aslp, in their dreamland, when i am alone, i will tend to be more emotional, think a lot, just like now.

Posted by snowpoem at 12:45 AM